This is The DMs, a deep dive into all things Internet culture—from the viral to the very niche—brought to you by the most online people you know.
Annie Hamilton is an Internet success story. The actor, Twitter influencer, and SubStack writer has mastered the art of confessional micro-comedy, broadcasting her every fumble and faceplant for a growing audience of more than 50 thousand Instagram followers. And while transforming local intrigue into widespread notoriety is no easy feat, it's a noble tradition in downtown New York—one Hamilton taps into with a deliberate but nonetheless refreshing lack of artifice and a dose of wry self-deprecation. Here, Hamilton tells CULTURED about selfie recycling, weird DMs, and texting interventions.
CULTURED: OKAY, Annie Hamilton. Let’s go.
Annie Hamilton: Alright, alright, alright.
C: What do you post.
AH: Idiotic shit, impulsively, to prove myself, is all I got.
C: Where do you take your best selfies?
AH: In Los Angeles. I haven’t been in a year and a half, so I’m recycling old ones. Like the story I just posted. I didn’t have bangs then, but my hair has clips in it so I figured I might get away with it. It's cus my brain changes there…I can pucker my lips with less shame. And my friends have nice homes there with pretty mirrors and trees.
C: Very. What’s the most recent Internet rabbit hole you’ve fallen into?
AH: Uh, I’ve been trying to find stills of Ben Affleck in Voyage of the Mimi, an educational video we watched in 4th grade where he’s checking out ruins and guzzling salt water.
C: What was the most recent time you felt embarrassed?
AH: I was embarrassed walking out the door in leggings this morning. It felt too sexual.
C: Leggings are for people who travel for work.
AH: Leggings are for desperate horny singles. I mean WEAR SWEATPANTS.
C: Who do you stalk?
AH: I stalk the partners of my exes.
C: Who do you block?
AH: I block meanies. And I block men who have hurt me lol. :/
C: Craziest DM you’ve ever received?
AH: I get long-ass confessions. And I love it. Also this was a message I didn’t appreciate: "I’m writing a feature about the The Aesthetic of Extremely Online Jewish Femininity, or, in other words, Jewish women shit-posting, sometimes (or always) with their tits out. Happy to send more info via email, but lmk if you’d be interested!"
C: What are your last 3 Google searches?
AH: HAHAHAH. It was me Googling me. I can’t believe it. I forgot I did that last night. It’s not like an EVERYDAY thing, ok. What if I was like: Female composers, Lacan, Ted Hughes?
C: You could’ve. You still can.
AH: I was Googling movie times. So that’s worse. One Fine Day, Dr Strangelove, and Death to Smoochy. I’m not a film bro, I promise.
C: Ok, what are some accounts we should all follow?
AH: Oh, great q. I like seeing what Meetka’s up to and—I mostly post and check stories and don’t scroll the feed cus otherwise I lose my mind—but Sinna Nasseri, the photographer. He’s so talented.
C: What’s your white whale? Something you’ve been scouring the Internet for forever?
AH: Bonnets and ladylike ribbons for the neck. Am I taking too long to answer these? Sorry, I know I go on and on. Hold your tongue, Hamilton. My mom has an intervention with me once a week about my texting style. She says I can’t keep pounding send.
C: Talk to me about blue checks.
AH: I want one and got declined, which makes sense bc I have 0 body of Googleable work. ❤️
C: 2-step verification.
AH: What the hell is that? My passwords keep me grounded. They’re all the names of my enemies or childhood mishaps. lol.
AH: They hurt my feelings and I see everything everyone posts on my profile or DMs me ever. HAHAHAH, Jesus.
C: Thirst traps.
AH: Good from far, far from good.
AH: Never had one, I was on blogspot using my words.
C: Revenge posts.
AH: What post isn’t a revenge post.
C: Describe your audience in three words.
AH: Young manic women.