Everyone is beautiful, and no one is horny? We can’t relate.
The rumor is that Gen Z is sexless, that Millennials can’t feel anything after pumping too much Botox into every orifice, and everyone else is too busy toggling between slop-filled reels in their goon cave to care. But we know that New York is still the place to be if you’re looking for a lover in every flavor: sweet, kinky, or 151-feet-tall, if you’re into that kind of thing. What other city’s very architecture has become synonymous with head-spinning lust, from the top of the Empire State Building all the way down to the shores of Jacob Riis? New Yorkers are nothing if not determined—from queer sex parties to the sleaziest dive bars, we can find a way to be horny anywhere.
We asked 13 of the most out-on-the-town friends of the mag to offer their recommendations of the best places to get sexy in the city.
Jordan Firstman, comedian
“Dallas BBQ. Not allowed to elaborate ❤️”
Mackenzie Thomas, writer
“The sidewalk is a very open possibility. It’s better than one swipe could ever be. A glance and a stride, a quick up-down-and-up-again of someone’s outfit gives me all the information I need to know. Sometimes a glance is all you need from someone to really twist the knife. Lust can be quick. You don’t need to talk or kiss, you can just choose to make the silent agreement to be strangers in each other’s dreams that night. I find it all very charming.”
Fran Tirado, editor-in-chief of Them
“THIRST is a sex worker-run-and-operated trans strip show typically at Sultan Room, but it also pops up in and around New York. My Doll Invasion collaborator Mars Hobrecker is one of the daddies that runs this function, and the curation of dancers and performers, who come from in and outside of New York, is exquisite. I am usually drooling and have much difficulty deciding who I want a lap dance from. I always lose so much money every time I go…”
Alex Auder, writer
“The subway, specifically the C, heading Uptown in winter: Put down your device and notice the gentle vibration under your pussy as you warm up and gaze into the eyes of the handsome creature across the way from you. Perhaps you’ll both exit at 72nd street and brush your hands as you climb the stairs to Central Park West and make out against the wall of the Dakota, sliding your hands under each other’s down coats.”
Mindy Seu, artist and researcher
“This is not your usual party. GUSH is code for the lesbian party that’s ‘soft & softcore.’ It has taken over venues like Performance Space New York and Nowadays, but the location doesn’t matter. Highly-anticipated, it sells out before it even opens, just through word of mouth. With tickets for cis het men that are 3x the price, GUSH celebrates ‘les qtnb bipoc honeys.’ This is sexy yet sacred nightlife.”
Colin Self, artist and musician
“The first place I want to nominate is the Stavros Niarchos Foundation Library. Fantastic place to work and cruise. I’m a big fan of their image archive. Fantastic bathrooms and a lot of cuties coming to read and research. Also, support your public library!
Pier 45 on the Hudson River has some hottie boombalotties getting as close to nakee as possible in NYC without getting arrested. If you wanna play, you’re a hop and a skip from Rock Bar!
Finally, the East River outdoor park gym. Bring your own bands and gear, and make a friend or two who wants to help you finish your workout!”
Delaney Rowe, content creator
“The York in the East Village dresses itself as half dive bar, half hipster hot spot. If you want to run into an ex-hookup, go here. If you want to meet someone emotionally unavailable but sensational in bed, go here. If you want a bartender to discipline you loudly in front of a crowd, go here. If you want to kiss your friend in the bathroom, go here. Wear sweatpants and a T-shirt, and someone will still try to rip your clothes off. The food is good too.”
Maxwell Vice, photographer
“I feel like as a gay man, I always know what parts of New York are sexless or not, and shockingly the average queer bar isn’t where I go typically to find ‘trade.’ I can’t believe I’m sharing this here, but I think as a gay man the horniest places in New York are Bushwick bars on a Tuesday.
Specifically, Bossa Nova Civic Club is my favorite slut stop when I’m walking around Brooklyn trying to break up marriages. I say that because most of the men I’ve hooked up with there have wedding bands on. It’s weird but the lowkey audience of a Tuesday Bossa always leads me to smooching in a corner by the coat check. I actually don’t think there’s been a Tuesday at Bossa that I haven’t walked out with a guy. Now that’s not to say that was a proud choice, but sex was had. I think it’s less a broader conversation on most people being some type of queer, but more so that it’s easier to find someone to make out with when the bar is beyond capacity.”
Francesca Scorsese, actor and director
“Lucien has always been my unofficial launching pad for mischievous nights out: the dim lighting, the cozy chaos, and those dangerously seductive steak frites give the whole place a flirty energy. And the Box? That one explains itself.”
Camille Sojit Pecha, writer
“The Chelsea Hotel is famously horny, from Leonard Cohen’s anthem about getting head on an unmade bed to a long lineage of creatives, artists, and bohemians who’ve fucked within its walls. You might think that’s a bygone era, but in the apartment of my friend Tony Notarberardino—photographer and unsung hero of New York nightlife—this legacy lives on.
Once described as ‘the lair of a well-traveled, horny Victorian’ by the writer Legs McNeil, his space is a bohemian enclave that plays host to boundary-pushing burlesque, sideshow, and drag performances that are unabashedly horny, queer, and more transgressive than anything you’ll see onstage at the Box. I’ve hosted literary salons and burlesque shows there for my newsletter, Pleasure-Seeking—the next one is Feb. 21—and attended numerous soirées that rage on well into the morning, fostering a culture of self-expression, sexual freedom, and creative exchange that’s hard to find elsewhere.”
Matt Starr, writer
“Zabar’s on the Upper West Side. Walking around Central Park on a Saturday afternoon. Any used record store. Basically anywhere that makes you feel like you’re in a rom-com. The most sensual places are always free and should never matter what time of day it is.”
Lauren Servido, comedian
“The horniest place in New York is probably the bronze ‘Charging Bull’ statue down on Wall Street… It has horns… Or maybe Smalls Jazz Club over on W 10th street… There are horns there too…”
Ruby Justice Thelot, designer and writer
“The horniest place in New York is obviously the Statue of Liberty. As someone who loves women, I believe it is my duty to find the tallest and largest one and get as close to her as possible. If you’re not doing that on a daily basis, then I have to doubt your dedication to the cause.”
More of our favorite stories from CULTURED
Tessa Thompson Took Two Years Out of the Spotlight. This Winter, She’s Back With a Vengeance.
On the Ground at Art Basel Qatar: 84 Booths, a Sprinkle of Sales, and One Place to Drink
How to Nail Your Wellness Routine, According to American Ballet Theater Dancers
10 of New York’s Best-Dressed Residents Offer the Ultimate Guide to Shopping Vintage in the City
Sign up for our newsletter here to get these stories direct to your inbox.
in your life?
