Hanif Abdurraqib

Writer

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SURPRISED YOURSELF IN YOUR WORK?

Every time I finish a poem or a book, I have a rush of excitement followed by a bit of dread—I go from, I can’t believe I did that, to, I can’t believe I have to do it again. But then I remember that, of course, I don’t have to do it again. The pursuit of the work is a choice, and to reframe it as, I can’t believe I get to do that again, enlivens the ever-present excitements and curiosities and obsessions that are already waiting, dormant, to be shaken alive.

WHO DO YOU CALL THE MOST?

When I’m on the road doing readings, I have this routine that acts against the loneliness that arises when you walk off a stage where people are applauding you and return to the quiet of a hotel room by yourself. I get a bag of peanut M&M’s, call a friend, and ask them to tell me about their day. It’s comforting, re-grounding, to hear someone I love describe something small that delighted them—a bird balancing on the thin branch of a tree, a revelation that their child had over breakfast.

I call the old punks I used to roll with in the Midwest, who have retreated to the comforts of California to become responsible parents and partners. They always have a satchel of joys to pull from and toss my way as a kind of salve.

“"I believe that I have, perhaps single-handedly, decentralized and democratized a vibrant and fluorescent commitment to yearning."”

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS YOUR BIGGEST CONTRIBUTION TO CULTURE?

I believe that I have, perhaps single-handedly, decentralized and democratized a vibrant and fluorescent commitment to yearning. Yearning is for everyone, everywhere. Yearning as a truly communal act with no hierarchy. (I can’t actually take sole responsibility for this, or any responsibility at all—but it would be nice if, upon my exit from this world, that’s what I’m most remembered for.)

NAME AN INFLUENCE OF YOURS THAT MIGHT SURPRISE PEOPLE.

Ursula from The Little Mermaid. She had romantic notions, but allowed her (hard-earned!) cynicisms about the world above to overrun her romantics in a way that, as a fellow romantic/cynic, I can relate to in some ways. She tries to liberate those around her from their own fantasies about a world that has no interest in serving them well, a political framework I believe we could all learn from. I don’t agree with her tactics (I don’t believe in offering binding contracts to teenagers), but the motivations are inspirational to me.